It has been six weeks since the injury. I am off of any pain medication, have been for a few weeks. I saw a hand surgeon who repaired the nail bed under my index finger - don't remember if I mentioned that.

At my four week follow up, the doctor took and x-ray. Sort of a real-time x-ray. I could see my bones and I could see, when the doctor wiggled my fingertips, that the bones had not yet healed. I was disappointed in this news, of course. I was put back into splints and told to return in a month.

I now have some plastic splints which permit me to bend my fingers at the second joint. The feel stiff and I work on bending them with my other hand. The new splints permit me to wash my hand and they enable me to see my fingertips. I can remove the splints and see my fingers. This is disturbing because the sight of the injured fingers brings back the trauma of the experience. And I can not move that joint - the fingers are wooden-like at the ends. Disturbing to me.

Anxiety over regaining my ability to play the guitar comes and goes. I can most often take the word of my doctors who have said they thought that recovery would occur in time. I want to believe that, and if someone could look me in the eye and say with 100% certainty that I will play as I once could I would be much relieved.

For now... I practice patience and gratitude. Gratitude that I did not lose any fingers in the accident... gratitude that I have access to excelled medical care... and gratitude that, for the moment, I believe I will have the opportunity to begin to regain my ability to play.